Hi! I am Lavanya. Surya is my son : autistic and eleven years old . The most common myth around special children starts with words like disability, weakness, impatience and inattentiveness. When Surya was just three years old the therapy sessions were going on rigorously and regularly. Everyday he would attend one hour of therapy and I would work with him for the rest of the day. My kitchen chores, social life and dream job took a back seat. When we train a special child the results are slow. People who saw me struggle with his toilet training, command compliance and speech came up to me and told me “ You need to accept your child and his disability”. It was very disheartening to be judged as "a person who was unrealistic in her expectations".
Many a times I wanted to tell them that my only expectation of him, was a life of independence and dignity. That is exactly what I was training him for. Well , there were times when the desired results did not come through I felt maybe they were right. Just when I was sinking I read a quote which said “ Faith is not what you have, when you know the end result; Faith is knowing no matter what everything will be all right”. This gave me strength and hope to work on the next step . I was counselled by therapists and got back to a positive frame of mind. It took over a year to see Surya functioning independently and peacefully. The same people who told me otherwise were shocked at his progress. They told me I was doing a good job. Again I wondered “ Why me alone?”. My son had worked hard from the age of two, so had his therapists, sports trainers, father and myself. Time and energy are never constant so why should my child stay the same as he was on the day he was diagnosed and declared autistic. Working with a special child against all odds and negative mind sets can be a very emotionally dragging experience.
The only way you can battle such mindsets is when you ignore them and continue on your special journey with your little one. Disability is not inability. Inattentiveness and hyperactivity can be controlled with SI and OT. A good communication therapist and special educator can guide you on how to work with your special kid without taxing him. Over a span of time he can be taught patience. I see all this in my child today. Another mindset I battled was “ Why has God done this to you?” . I remember thanking God for both my kids and the resources with support systems to take care of them. Again people could not understand why I was smiling, instead of crying. You can’t tell people how to think but you are the master of your own mind. When you tell yourself that “ I choose for my special child and for myself to be happy and patient “ : I feel empowered .
Proof lies in the pudding. When you smile , work hard and don’t complain the positive energy rubs off on your child. Together you will achieve your immediate goals . Everyday cannot be happy or sad. Every question need not be answered. Every battle need not be fought . You can choose to walk away. Negative mindsets don’t need a verbal reply. Walk away and do all the things that give you and your child positive results. Remember dear readers the gap in your little ones life because of his disability has to be filled in with proper training, love and positivity. Remember one day in the near future you will be smiling not because of, but in spite of everything.
People go through life finding their purpose. The blessed ones have their Purpose find them. Your little bundle of joy found you so celebrate living with them by not drowning in your tears or in the mindsets that drag you down. So dear readers do write in and share similar experiences.