Am i too much into it? Am i reading too many articles on how to help my ASD child? Am i overflowing my brain with information on ASD?
I think its high time i should take a break....break free...of all flamboyant technical terms,articles,links.....after all for almost 6.5yrs I am struggling alone.
My best "me time" was leaving my child in the safe hands ? (apprehensive
) of my husband, for the first time after delivery...GOD...Why did it take so long? I might be an over protective mother.....So I decided to break the attention demanding routine with ample encouragement from moms who belong to similar genre.
A few days back, I went to visit my parents in my home town... all alone.Being a nature loving person, I enjoyed the journey a lot.Each view felt new to me.The lush green plantations,fields,the fresh air...I was immediately out of all the hustles of a metro life.I asked myself. Isn't this a beautiful world?Have I forgotten to live a life so alive?
I reached home
.With much surprise my mother came running to me.She gave me a warm hug and I noticed her eyes welling up.Both my parents treated me as if I was a war veteran (obviously mom I am still in the battlefield
).We ranted about each and everything which we came across...The three of us walked through our orchards and plantations talking about the newly planted hybrid varieties of crops.
My childhood memories are all around a river where we used to fish with hook and line.We walked to the river and to my surprise it flowed as pristine and unspoiled as ever.The sound of the streaming pristine river is more divine and calming than any pink or white noise I have heard of..
I slowly immersed my feet in the water sitting on the steps on the river banks.Hundreds of small fishes gathered around my feet from nowhere ,nibbling at my feet (Oh ..Is this what the Japanese charge thousands for..amazing) While I thoroughly enjoyed each peck from my piscian friends,my eyes wandered over the delightful sight of the bloomed varieties of "gulmohars"...both red and yellow.Did those lush green trees just swayed in the wind?
The Pandanus (I dont know if its the same pandan that is used for Asian cooking) on the banks somewhere has bloomed and the wind carried a beautiful fragrance of pandan flowers which elicited my childhood memories.My eyes caught attention of green bamboo forest over the extreme end on the other banks,where it whistled in the wind
.Meanwhile a smart red-blue kingfisher seized a relatively large fish than its own size..(hmm...food webs are too complex)
Just a visit to the river made me nostalgic
.During summer vacations on the sand banks,me and my cousins would fish, marinate the freshly caught fish with all sorts of Indian spices.We would create a tripod with wooden logs to keep a metal mesh over which the devinely marinated fish was grilled to perfection.Did I salivate remembering those nostalgic memories?
On the way back home,I smiled at all my neighbours and renewed aquaintances...
A whole day on my own,without doctors,therapists,educators etc was more exciting than being afraid over the thoughts of my son whom I had left with my husband.
SO....Finally I have learnt to break the unbreakable bond (at least I thought so)between me and my son.My journey was indeed a step ahead towards both of our independence .This ONE DAY...gave me memories to be imprinted on the back of my mind forever.Hope you all find your "me time" too.
Stay happy and content